FORUMS > Leeds Rhinos > Ryan Bailey |
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| Quote: SmokeyTA "There may be a a correlation or trend of bad behaviour being followed by claims of depression or other mental illness. Perhaps that isnt because people are 'faking it' or 'hiding behind it' but because that is sometimes how mental illness manifests itself.
For example, a couple of manifestations of depression are lack of motivation, trouble sleeping, lack of energy, avoiding social activities and contact with friends and a higher propensity for substance abuse.
Now in the realms of a professional sportsman what is viewed as a lazy unprofessional ar5ehole turning up late and hungover to training and not pushing themselves, could be a depressed person self-medicating with alcohol and struggling to fulfil the expectations of a pro sportsman because of the physical manifestations of depression.
Perhaps a person not turning up to stand in front of thousands of fans and friends to be thanked, isnt a selfish ungrateful flake but someone absolutely terrified of that situation.
You may not be wrong about the pattern, you may not be wrong about your personal experiences of Bailey, however it may just be that the reason for that pattern is the reason for your experiences with him and they are the manifestations in his case. It is unfortunate that often what we class as 'bad behaviour' is also often how depression appears to others.'"
Good post and nice to hear the support for others who are also suffering.
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44480_1390845286.jpg It's been fun.:d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_44480.jpg |
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| Sometime the self destructive attitude comes from not caring about the world around you, you see yourself as unworthy and sometimes you don't actually care about anyone else either, you already have a low opinion of yourself so you do something that others won't like but you really don't give a monkeys how you are perceived. I've done things I'm not proud of when I've been at my low points, I've hurt people, not intentionally but just because i was locked into my world and didn't care about anything.
Bailey could have been a daft lad just because, or he could have been a daft lad because of the depression but i doubt he would use depression as a get out clause because he obviously found it very hard to come out and say.
Would he sacrifice his pride, to excuse his past if he wasn't genuinely depressed? I doubt anyone would.
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"The Golden Generation finally has its Golden Fleece! They have Wembley Cup Final winners medals to add to their collection."
23/08/2014: |
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| Quote: SmokeyTA "For example, a couple of manifestations of depression are lack of motivation, trouble sleeping, lack of energy, avoiding social activities and contact with friends and a higher propensity for substance abuse.'"
I know me and Smokey are having our run ins but he's just pretty much nailed my life in one paragraph. It's really surprised me (in a good way) how many others on here have had the same struggles and have had the balls to talk about it because it's so hard to share and I went 2 years without speaking to my three closest friends that I use to share a house with. I without notice suddenly packed all my stuff up and moved out without telling them on a NYE's whilst they were out buying stuff for the party that night, I'm a lucky b@st@rd that they forgave and tried to understand this as they actually did try to reach out me at the time as they could see I was struggling with stuff but I kept pushing them away (and skip forward and just a few months ago I became godfather to one of their kids). I took the option I did because I'm arguably the most stubborn c**t you'll meet (those of you familiar with my posting history will attest to that ) and I actually opted to drive my friends away and think of me a "c*nt" rather than open up and have them think of me as a "weirdo" or "nutjob". You actually prefer the idea that people think you're a pr*ck instead of needing help. That's how f*cked up it can get.
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| Quote: SmokeyTA "Quote: SmokeyTA "Clearly not - as its not really the same principle is it - other than unfortunately some people choose to do same pretty low things..... You've just chose a particular comparison I used to show people do sometimes claim illness (of any sort) falsely for their own benefit.
So for the record, if he'd said he had cancer, of course I'd believe him....
All I'm saying is that there is a trend of bad behaviour being followed by an 'admittance' of depression - and from my personal experiences with Ryan over 25 years, yes I am very cynical.... I do think he's gone through a tough time, he's had to deal with the consequences of his actions (this time without Leeds holding his hand and protecting him) and he's not enjoyed it.... But that's very different to depression!!!
Like I said in my first post - I appreciate others won't agree with that view, some will no doubt be 'outraged' and 'offended' by my cynicism - but I couldn't really give a hoot about that - it's my opinion, based on my experiences with this individual and on many life experiences of people genuinely fighting mental illness, and those fraudulently claiming it for their own benefit....
Peace out!'" There may be a a correlation or trend of bad behaviour being followed by claims of depression or other mental illness. Perhaps that isnt because people are 'faking it' or 'hiding behind it' but because that is sometimes how mental illness manifests itself.
For example, a couple of manifestations of depression are lack of motivation, trouble sleeping, lack of energy, avoiding social activities and contact with friends and a higher propensity for substance abuse.
Now in the realms of a professional sportsman what is viewed as a lazy unprofessional ar5ehole turning up late and hungover to training and not pushing themselves, could be a depressed person self-medicating with alcohol and struggling to fulfil the expectations of a pro sportsman because of the physical manifestations of depression.
Perhaps a person not turning up to stand in front of thousands of fans and friends to be thanked, isnt a selfish ungrateful flake but someone absolutely terrified of that situation.
You may not be wrong about the pattern, you may not be wrong about your personal experiences of Bailey, however it may just be that the reason for that pattern is the reason for your experiences with him and they are the manifestations in his case. It is unfortunate that often what we class as 'bad behaviour' is also often how depression appears to others.'"
Great post - and you're absolutely right, it can manifest in a number of ways - strange/poor/irrational behaviour absolutely being examples.
My point is that it's not always genuine - and there has been no behavioural change in Ryan, the things he's done over the past 18 months are no different to the rest of his adult life, and follow on from a pattern in his behaviour he's had since early childhood - some may think that means he's had long and deep rooted mental health issues, some might feel his behaviour is nothing to do with the depression and that he's been suffering and the behaviour is a seperate issue, some will be cynical and think he's had a lot of grief from the fans of his new club and wants to find a way of dampening that, getting them to cut him some slack and getting them on his side.
Maybe I live in a different world to those who think my view is outrageous (not talking about you here Smokey) - but I've seen false claims on numerous occasions for various benefits - and taking everything into account, with this individual, sadly I'm of the cynical stance.
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44480_1390845286.jpg It's been fun.:d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_44480.jpg |
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| His behaviour could be a separate thing, let's imagine it is.
Would you still come out and say you were suffering from depression, in this sport if you wasn't?
It's probably the 2nd hardest thing to admit behind being gay due to the merciless taunts of those that don't understand.
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| Quote: Wire Yed "His behaviour could be a separate thing, let's imagine it is.
Would you still come out and say you were suffering from depression, in this sport if you wasn't?
It's probably the 2nd hardest thing to admit behind being gay due to the merciless taunts of those that don't understand.'"
Yep - let's take the individual in this circumstance out of the equation...
Clearly it would be difficult, it's always difficult to admit when you've got a problem - particularly one of such a sensitive nature. Having said that though, whilst the banter and taunts can be ruthless at times, in every rugby team I've been involved with, there is also a deep mate-ship and support network that come together whenever one of their own is doing it tough (whether that be personal issues, form drops, injuries etc), so there is no need for it to be tough - I genuinely believe if someone has an issue of this sort, the first priority of the team would be to support their mate and do whatever they can to help - sure after time here will be banter, taunts, digs about it (and yes it can be brutal), but that's part of the team environment, I'd be disappointed if that didn't happen if it were me on the receiving end as it would mean I was being treat differently...
Going public with your struggles to the media is something entirely different - if it's done to encourage more people to speak up, then great - but again, the cynic in me also believes it is occasionally done to try and justify or reduce the consequences of ill-discipline.
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62325_1407754004.gif [quote="Jamie Peacock MBE":af0ys02h]'There's been a couple of times during my career when I've thought about moving elsewhere but, when I run out in front of 17,000, 18,000 people at Headingley, I've thought 'nah, this is the place for me'.[/quote:af0ys02h]
[img:af0ys02h]http://orig08.deviantart.net/430a/f/2012/119/7/9/wolverine_sign_by_zekua-d4xydfq.jpg[/img:af0ys02h]:d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_62325.gif |
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| Quote: Superted "Yep - let's take the individual in this circumstance out of the equation...
Clearly it would be difficult, it's always difficult to admit when you've got a problem - particularly one of such a sensitive nature. Having said that though, whilst the banter and taunts can be ruthless at times, in every rugby team I've been involved with, there is also a deep mate-ship and support network that come together whenever one of their own is doing it tough (whether that be personal issues, form drops, injuries etc), so there is no need for it to be tough - I genuinely believe if someone has an issue of this sort, the first priority of the team would be to support their mate and do whatever they can to help - sure after time here will be banter, taunts, digs about it (and yes it can be brutal), but that's part of the team environment, I'd be disappointed if that didn't happen if it were me on the receiving end as it would mean I was being treat differently...
Going public with your struggles to the media is something entirely different - if it's done to encourage more people to speak up, then great - but again, the cynic in me also believes it is occasionally done to try and justify or reduce the consequences of ill-discipline.'"
Complete nonsense. The ignorance and lack of support for Mental Illness in Men is unparalleled, and in employment more so. I would expect Bails to more hide behind a "Hard Bloke Front" to explain his behavior rather than admitting "Weakness" in a Mans Sport for Manly Men. A select few may have known prior to his announcement, but not many. When you suffer from Depression, you wear a Mask to hide your true self. This mask could be the Clown, the Hard Bloke, the Ladies Man, anything, but it's not the real person, and it's a coping mechanism to get through each day.
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23603_1336678755.jpg "Look, I'd never use injuries as an excuse..." Daryl Powell:d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_23603.jpg |
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| It seems utterly bizarre to focus on a handful of (alleged) instances of faked depression in the face of the statistical evidence and peer-reviewed literature that confirm depression to be both widespread and under-reported within the population. As for knowing Bailey for 25 years, I dare say Gary Speed's death - just one example of many - came as a shock to some who'd known him for a similar period. Many people show a tremendous capacity for hiding what's inside.
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| Quote: Clearwing "It seems utterly bizarre to focus on a handful of (alleged) instances of faked depression in the face of the statistical evidence and peer-reviewed literature that confirm depression to be both widespread and under-reported within the population. As for knowing Bailey for 25 years, I dare say Gary Speed's death - just one example of many - came as a shock to some who'd known him for a similar period. Many people show a tremendous capacity for hiding what's inside.'"
I've not got a focus on a handful of alleged instances, and am well aware of the under reporting of the issue - I merely commented on my cynicism of this 1 particular case - for reasons I've pointed out.... And to be honest, it's going public to the media that raises my suspicion - some will feel he's done this for the greater good, to break down barriers linked to mental health - Knowing the individual, I choose to believe it's been done for cynical reasons to try and get the Wire fans onside - make them forgive and forget his past misdemeanours, it ties in with his need to show them he's a 'reformed character' and worth a shot...
Do you accept that false claims ever happen?
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23603_1336678755.jpg "Look, I'd never use injuries as an excuse..." Daryl Powell:d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_23603.jpg |
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| Quote: Superted "I've not got a focus on a handful of alleged instances, and am well aware of the under reporting of the issue - I merely commented on my cynicism of this 1 particular case - for reasons I've pointed out.... And to be honest, it's going public to the media that raises my suspicion - some will feel he's done this for the greater good, to break down barriers linked to mental health - Knowing the individual, I choose to believe it's been done for cynical reasons to try and get the Wire fans onside - make them forgive and forget his past misdemeanours, it ties in with his need to show them he's a 'reformed character' and worth a shot...
Do you accept that false claims ever happen?'"
The greater good may well not have been a factor in his decision to go public. Relief at knowing what's been wrong and the lift that comes from a recovery could very easily be causal in terms of wanting to talk about it.
False claims? I don't personally know of any but accept that they're probably sometimes made by those hoping to avoid jail and the like. Seems unlikely Bailey would play for the sympathy vote in this way; if he stopped to think about the reaction to his going public - and I'm not too convinced he stops to think a great deal - then I'd have thought he'd expect much the same response as you've given.
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755_1290430740.jpg “At last, a real, Tory budget,” Daily Mail 24/9/22
"It may be that the honourable gentleman doesn't like mixing with his own side … but we on this side have a more convivial, fraternal spirit." Jacob Rees-Mogg 21/10/21
A member of the Guardian-reading, tofu-eating wokerati.:d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_755.jpg |
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| Quote: Middleton_Loiner " When you suffer from Depression, you wear a Mask to hide your true self. This mask could be the Clown, the Hard Bloke, the Ladies Man, anything, but it's not the real person, and it's a coping mechanism to get through each day.'"
Some undoubtedly do. Those I have encountered have been fairly obvious, not that they have necessarily got the best help. You could justifiably argue there are many people I know who are hiding it. I think with Bailey he is more mentally weak than 'just' depression. The times I have heard him speaking he really struggles to put an articulate sentence together. Those with a poor education & background often do. I come from a background of low expectation & ambition. A lot of people I grew up with, when under emotional stress, resort to extremes, often violence, as they don't have the capacity or opportunity to express their feelings any other way. I don't like the labeling of people as depressed, paranoid, or whatever. That is often too convenient & an excuse to start pumping people full of drugs. I know they can give some relief, my father died last year with dementia having consumed a cocktail of prescription drugs that would make Keith Richards wince.
What numerous people would benefit from is mental stimulation & just to talk, which I think is what Bailey did with Sporting Chance. Stuffing people with mental problems with numbing drugs so they will quietly sit in front of a TV in a nursing home, overseen by well-meaning 17 year old girls does neither.
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| Quote: tigertot "Some undoubtedly do. Those I have encountered have been fairly obvious, '"
And you'd know this how, exactly?
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755_1290430740.jpg “At last, a real, Tory budget,” Daily Mail 24/9/22
"It may be that the honourable gentleman doesn't like mixing with his own side … but we on this side have a more convivial, fraternal spirit." Jacob Rees-Mogg 21/10/21
A member of the Guardian-reading, tofu-eating wokerati.:d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_755.jpg |
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| Quote: Clearwing "And you'd know this how, exactly?'"
Because I have enquired about their welfare or spoken to them.
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23603_1336678755.jpg "Look, I'd never use injuries as an excuse..." Daryl Powell:d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_23603.jpg |
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| Quote: tigertot "Because I have enquired about their welfare or spoken to them.'"
And the ones that aren't obvious?
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Soon we will be dancing the Fandango
FROM 2004,TO DO WHAT THIS CLUB'S DONE,IF THATS NOT GREATNESS THEN I DONT KNOW WHAT IS.
JAMIE PEACOCK: |
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| Surely Bailey must have been diagnosed with this condition before going public ? Hasn't he been having treatment from a well known clinic? And After Tony Smiths statement about Bailey I tend to believe him.
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