My back lawn looks awful this time of year too, it doesn't have a game of professional rugby played on it every weekend but it does have a big dog using it as a toilet a couple of times a day, I really should get out there and clear it all up any time soon.

Swap the dog for a horse and not only do you not have to clean up, but you get the lawn fertilised for free.

That's one of my "Top Tips". Here's another one, use sand instead of sugar. Not only does it have zero calories but it sinls to the bottom of the cup and you can re-use it

I'm not doing that again, those sandpaper turds are no laughing matter.

Sand has plenty of calories, its just that none of them are accessible to the human digestive system.

But it has plenty of natural vitamins that the body could break down and use.

Regards, Proffessor BB.

My dog doesn't drink tea

I know a dog who did though...

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I've no dog & my lawn looks great.
As will Headingley in September before we hand it back to the RU boys.
It does, however, look very much better this year because the winter was milder & generally drier than last year.
We ruined the pitch last year by using it for the Boxing Day & early new year friendly/testimonial games when it had been covered in snow & ice & really should not have been played on.
By August it had virtually fully recovered.
We then didn't have to worry about it being used for Test Match parking.
This year for the SA Test in August I bet it will be. Let's hope that it's not going to be a wet summer particularly over the Test Match period.

I drove all the way from Osnabruck, Germany and back in the same weekend for the 1998 Grand Final, it was 642miles each way.I set of mid afternoon Friday and got to Leeds about 4am, head down till 9ish to catch train over Manchester for drinks starting at midday, got back to Batley about 11pm for a cheeky night in the frontier,before getting in at 3am, 12 hours sleep then the journey back to Germany, got in my pit at 2am, 4 hours sleep later get up and in work for 7am. Apart from the result a great weekend.

I have no dog but I do have a lawn and plenty of tea.

I getting confused - do I put the sand in my tea or on the lawn? If I do put sand in my tea do I then need a dog to drink the tea? If so where does the horse come into play?

Have you checked Lee Smith's glove compartment?