Quote Wheels="Wheels"Is there going to be cake at this birthday party or what?'"
You never heard of birthday cake ?
Costco birthday cakes are the king of cakes, so much cake that you almost can't eat a whole one without being sick, but I had a damn good go at it.
What I enjoyed best about Costco birthday cakes was that they'd always make one or two for anyone who just walked by and thought "I fancy a paving slab sized block of random unbranded cake for tea tonight", but most of the cakes on the stand were custom made for other people, people who's birthday it was, they'd be specially iced to your own design with "Happy Birthday Uncle Peter" on, if it was your Uncle Peters birthday for example.
Well I used to like to buy THOSE cakes, the ones that had been specially done to order for someone else, you never had to prove that it was YOUR Uncle Peter or even that you had an Uncle Peter (I don't), and everyone would smile at the checkout and say "Hope your Uncle Peter enjoys his birthday cake" and you'd smile back and think "I haven't got a f'kin Uncle Peter you daft bint" but you'd say "I'm sure I will, erm I mean I'm sure HE will" and then sometime later the real people who really had an Uncle Peter who's birthday it was that day would turn up at the bakery counter and demand their cake and the baker would scratch his head and say "But I made it this morning, it was right there..." and the people would kick off big time but ultimately have to take home a cake for a little girls birthday that was going spare, poor Uncle Peter.