I still refuse to believe that Van Halen aren't telling Maxwell to jump.

Well I'll go t'foot of our stairs

A bloke I worked with used to tell me how "cream knackered" he was at the end of pretty much everyday.

Schedule pronounced 'Skedule' does my nut

Seconded.
Motion passed.

On the subject of mixed-up expressions, I'm married to a Geordie, my life these past 31 years has been one long round of "pardon?".

Pmsl @Mcf.

Should of.
Lend/lent instead of borrow/borrowed.
Learned instead of taught.

should of instead of should have

your instead of YOU're

it's instead of its

compliment instead of complement

With regards to lyrics.... I knew it could not be right, but for years I thought Abba were singing "knowing me knowing you, chasing my ass"..... I couldn't ask anybody, because in those days no self respecting young man could admit to listening to such 'lame' music. It was only in later life that I found out some of my mates also had a secret copy of Abba Arrival and The Album.
We all sing along now to 'when I kissed the teacher' and 'the eagle'..

there, their, they're

Been.