15 seconds in, I think I recognise a couple of them - weren't they later found guilty on animal porn charges ?

Was it a porno?

You're thinking of rlthis.rl. He's a close friend I hear.

On a totally unrelated matter, I understand that a neighbour came around to my house yesterday afternoon while I was snoozing in the back garden with the iPod on, apparently they stood at the house and shouted at me for several minutes before giving up and leaving.

I'd just like them to know that the next time that happens they should come and shake me to make sure I'm not dead, I could be carrion for the magpies by now for all they know...

I heard the same story. I gather they were looking for some poor unfortunate who'd wandered off in a state of confusion without a key to the house.

When I was told the story and heard "Gary was in the gazebo on his own doing something with his computer..." I feared the worst.

I was painting dear boy, not computing, painting.

There would have been a clue had I been wearing my panama, but its gone mouldy after over-wintering in the garage.

And what, may I ask, was wrong with your other hat?

It blew off while crossing the Bosphorus one day.

More like you were blown off while crosing the Bosphorous one day....

Absolutely lol!!

The offers didn't come flooding in, much to my disappointment.

I took some acting work for low pay where i had to do things I would rather not discuss.

I then developed an addiction to Buttercup syrup and hit an old time low as I turned tricks with Puig Aubert in Dortmund Square to fund my addiction.

I've since found Buddha, cleaned up my act, and am ready for my close up.

Was he down the back of the couch?

No. He was in the cereal cupboard and he'd eaten a full box of Ricycles.

I can't get mad at that little chubby face though.

Ah right...no worries.