300 Reasons why Australia shouldn’t be hosting Any Rugby League
1. You told our fellow Pommy friend Dom Jolly to go himself when asking for directions to Larrimah
2. You gave us the worse larger in the world - Fosters
3. Russell Coight finds humour in a child’s disfigured finger
4. You let go of the best rugby league player ever - Michael Dobson
5. Kristie Coade is your best chance of a truly class super model
6. Stephanie McIntosh can’t sing
7. Delta Goodrem is a marriage breaker
8. Your home to the nasty League Freak
9. You treat your natives horribly
10. Aussie Rules football is better any ways
11. Neighbours along with Home and Away stole all our storylines!
12. Your home to the Devils Marbles
13. Russell Crowe bans cheerleaders at games!
14. Heath Ledger hated the country so much he emigrated to America
15. Its way too expensive to get to Australia
16. The NRL is doing its best to get rid of rugby leagues best players over they
17. You axed the best TV show in the history of TV shows - Big Brother
18. Your home to the racist town of Camden (near Sydney) where 3,200 people blocked a move for an Islamic school
19. You gave the green light to a US spy base to be built in Western Australia
20. You send us crap journalist over like John Pilger
21. We never want to hear the didgeridoo ever again
22. You’re a nation of problem gamblers
23. Your full of dead Ghost towns like Kookynie
24. You let crap British artist ruin Lake Ballard that is the west of Menzies
25. Niagara Dam is not a place you want to share with the world
26. Chris Lilley stole the idea for his ty series Summer Heights High from British hit The Office
27. The land is full of descendants to criminals
28. Blackpool Beach owns Bondi Beach
29. Your national Anthem just doesn’t make sense
30. Your rugby is so rubbish Brian Beaven emigrated to the UK to play better rugby
31. Sean Long kicked your in Sydney
32. Willie Mason is a thug who played for the bulldogs
33. Mick Meredith is the only decent funny man from the Australian land
34. The countries musical moguls even put on a musical about crappy Cricketer Shane Warne
35. Bellfield Cricket Club has funny looking grass
36. Philip Stokes is the worse glass artist in the world and he’s not even from St Helens!
37. Celebrity spotting although just imagined is bigger in Melbourne than Rugby is
38. No one can stand the Australian Accent
39. Your natives are cannibals who eat visitors that get lost in the outback
40. Every book I’ve read by an Australian author has been rubbish
41. Your animals killed the best presenter in the world - Steve Irwin
42. Australia is just like the film Romper Stomper
43. Your house flies are the most annoying in the world
44. You have more things that can kill you in Australia than anywhere else in the world
45. Even Kangaroos hate Australia resulting in many of them drowning in the sea trying to get out
46. Holly Valance stole and remade a then popular Turkish song!
47. The place is just too far away
48. The weather is bad for you out they
49. Your dogs chase every English visitor over they
50. Geelong braves a national wool museum in its city
51. Williamstown is a dump
52. Venus Bay is the worse place you can have an holiday ever
53. Mount Macedon isn’t much of a mount at all at just 1,000 metres above sea level
54. Collectively and throughout history Australians have just been petty criminals
55. In 1973 you finally came together and did something constructive criminal wise
56. Criminals from Woolloomooloo sunk themselves right down the toilet calling themselves The Loo Mob
57. Australian Prostitutes are the most lethal in the world when it comes to killing its clients
58. Two Up is the worse game that this world has ever come across
59. You are genuinely viewed internationally as having some of the best quality shop lifting citizens in the world - Don’t want you pick pocketing us at the world cup!
60. Your best ever mobster George Wallace was razored to death in Perth on 23rd November 1948
61. Sunny Hills is not very sunny at all as it is one of Australia’s well known Prostitute district
62. Idiots listened to a compulsive liars rumours that they was £30.000 buried in the Centennial Park bringing gullible Australian treasure hunters from all over to this ty area
63. They is no decent nightlife left in Australia after The Ziegfield Club closed in May 1951
64. You produce criminals that cut peoples toes off!
65. You celebrate the heroics of Melville Schnitzerling who really is just a poor mans Papillon
66. You battle over pathetic places like waterfronts
67. You have such harsh laws that people will mutilate them selves if they have a court date
68. You disrespect your Queen
69. We own you as shown on your flag!
70. Every time we think of Australia we think of spiders in you not so clean toilets
71. You all believing fairy’s at the bottom of your gardens
72. The quality of weed in Australia is not very according to people
73. It will never have a good football team
74. The only reason why people go to Australia is because they running away from a crime elsewhere
75. Its home to the worse streekers in the world after a fellow West Tigers fan failed to even get on the pitch at the WCC between West Tigers and Bulls
76. Australians never perform when it matters as proven in the world club challenge matches
77. Australia is helping in wars that have nothing to do with them
78. You have not done anything significant in the world other than performing in sports (catching up with the world eh?)
79. Australians have even worse humour than the Germans
80. You’ve repeated the word good day so much that its not warm and friendly anymore
81. An Australian barmaid gave one of my favourite characters in a book crabs
82. Australia is located in the bad part of the world - the southern hemisphere
83. Australia is more a less unknown and we want to keep it like that
84. Your all traitors of Europe
85. Bendigo only has a population of 86,510 and we want to keep it like that because your corrupt cops will just arrest anyone at the world cup for all the unsolved crimes in that city in order to boost its population
86. The Ross River in Townsville is ready to break its banks in time for the world cup to drown rivals
87. Horseshoe Bay on Magnetic Island magnetically attracts sudden death
88. Nelly Bay in Queensland is full of nellys
89. Australians take pride in their cultural diversity through such large gatherings as The Sydney Race Riots
90. Pauline Hanson is Australia’s answer to Hitler
91. Australian culture is a fusion of the very worst American and British traits.
92. You all drink Kangaroo Milk
93. Australia is full of lazy people as proven when someone infamously put a TV on his front lawn to watch cricket despite the match only been a stone throw away.
94. You’re a nation of petrol snifters and drinkers!
95. The only people who smile about Australia is when Australia is been owned in some computer game tournaments
96. The only time you smile at an Australian is when your biting the grenade top
97. The only time you wink at an Australian is when you are going to shoot them
98. Australia is Latin for unknown and we want to keep it that way.
99. Australia must of stolen rugby league somewhere down the line the dirty convicts
100. Your Fireworks are second to China, the Chinese would host a better world cup
101. Your greatest player of the modern era is a well known druggie
102. You desperately want to move rugby league to America but the Americans are wise enough not to have you in they backyards
103. AP is the last great spokesperson for the doomed country
104. In Newcastle you shoot people in order to generate interest in the area
105 Your hospitals illegally take the DNA of the countries babies
106. Your hospitals in Western Australia are in a mess any way
107. Your one of the most governed countries on this earth with one politician to 20.000 Aussies making the government over they very interfering
108. You stole the best driving trick in the world - driving on the left side of the world!
109. Silly Australians call light bulbs light globes
110. Queensland is full of banana benders as its is they favourite pastime..
111. Darwin is only known because it was bombed
112. You cruelly fooled the Americans into thinking that the Dropbears were true
113. Harold Hold hated leading Australia so much he went missing in the sea
114. The Bradshaws is the worse type of art inflicted on the world
115. Phar Lap (race horse) angered your bookies so much they sent him to America to be killed
116. Australian people are so sad they have more newspapers than anywhere else in the world
117. Your security is the worse in the world after a few fans smuggled a pig into a Sydney Australian football match
118. Once swimming during the day was declared legal in 1902 many people have swam away from Australia since
119. In an attempt to destroy your nation by exploding an atomic bomb in the South Australian desert we failed because Australians are mutants
120. Australia is full of preaching Christians
121. You live on a unhealthy diet of barbeques
122. Sculling is the worse drinking tradition ever
123. You have 1500 species of Australian spiders and your not even culling them!
124. The Tasmanian Devil is the ugliest creature to walk this earth
125. You have more sheep than people in Australia
126. Ayers Rock is an asteroid that would of killed other countries but not Australia
127. Camping at Devil Marbles is the worse camping experience anyone will ever have
128. Katherine Gorge is nothing but a eyesore
129. Idiots in Australia believe that the Ayers Rock is a sacred player of myth and wonder
130. Australians think that the fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene. Probably just to cover up they own crimes.
132. Australians find that Kangaroos can’t walk backwards so funny they take it too far and put them on the Australian coat of arms
134. Australians are so dumb they don’t know that Water is the only element that expands both when it freezes and when it boils.
135. Australians have no sense of taste
136. 35% of Australians who use personal ads for dating are already married
137. Stewardesses is the longest word that Australians can collectively write with their left hands
138. You couldn’t beat England at cow slapping (union) in 2003
139. On average people fear spiders more than they do death but not in Australia!
140. Gary Ablet in any other sport would have been an international superstar but not while playing Aussie Rules!
141. You’re a bunch of perverts having the Australian Nudist Federation
142. We do not want to see one more bleeding eucalyptus
143. Its too hot to play Rugby League in Australia
144. The place is like china only worse
145. Corey Worthington Delaney is only popular in Australia and it needs to stay that way
146. Kevin Rudd would make Australia better - so that’s why Australians don’t elect him because they miserable and want everyone else to be miserable in the world
147. The only good fashion that has come out of Australia is belts under girls boobs
148. People are so tight in Sydney they use an empty goon bag, blown up, as a pillow
149. The highlight of an Australians social life is engaging in a minor conversation with a check out person
150. We are sick of Australians starting sentences with I reckon
151. We don’t want the tropical birds waking us up while after a weekends up
152. You eat Lamb on Australia Day
153. Australia is full of poofters who need to harden up
154. The Australian Government subside World Youth Day
155. People who have never been smashed before got smashed in Australia - just shows what a drunk nation it really is
156. The coolest place to grow up as a kid in Australia is Altona and its not really that cool
157. Your home to the scummiest nightclub in the world - Wilson’s
158. The DHA is only trying to help Australians but they despise it!
159. The most tolerant people in the world - South Africans even hate Australians!
160. The Reggae scene in Australia is not very popular (Aussies don’t have good taste)
161. You have even named one of your suburbs Liverpool after the dump in the UK
162. Australians are so daft they get the first newspaper on the pile
163. Australian TV presenters have the worse mannerisms ever
164. All Australians are compulsive weather checkers despite it always been the same over they
165. You have to check that you’ve locked the door three times in Australia because your manufacturers produce rubbish stuff
166. Australians repeat things in they heads so much when they thinking they end up saying them out loud
167. Australians have bad habits of checking the bag for keys wallet and phone, before they get in the car, while they are in the car, and after they get out of the car. This will look very annoying if anyone’s car breaks down during the world cup and an Aussie has to use public transport
168. Cane Toads have invaded Australia’s lighted up areas at night
169. Only in Australia you can be charged with a quarantine offence for allegedly smuggling three tiny fish in a face cream jar
170. Closet-wise everyone wants to emigrate away from Australia
171. Your fellow countryman Terry Matterson is a moron
172. Most Australian players that come to Leeds are overrated and genuinely flop
173. You have only produced one notable Australian in a World Club Challenge winning Leeds side
174. Chemtrails roam widely in Australia infecting many of its citizens
175. You are home to many big open gay community’s
176. Victoria is full of Yarra-yabbies
177. Australia gave the world motor mower, rotary hoist, poptop can, wine cask and the brick veneer
178. Melbourne has the worse public transport in the world
179. Australian tapwater is the devils water as it goes down the plug hole clockwise
180. Australia’s intentions is war as the fist satellite they launched was the WRESAT (Weapons Research Establishment Satellite)
181. South Australia is full of Croweaters
182. Fellow Australians weirdly like to call Tasmanians: Taswegians, Tassies, Apple Islanders
183. You have killer Jackaroos
184. You all really want to kark it because you live in Australia
185. An Ocker is openly accepted in Australian society
186. Paddy Wagons burnt out is a common site in Australia
187. You confuse holiday makers to your country by referring our luggage as port
188. Anonymous members from Australia posted epic fails from their church of scientology protests
189. Australian trolls are the most boring in the world
190. Your dancing is so bad that Kate Cebrano could even win the Australian version of Dancing With the Stars
191. Toowoomba is known world wide as Poowoomba
192. Melbourne is full of sad people who spend they lives dressed up as the Sonic Manipulator
193. Epic fail Guy can be found in Melbourne!
194. You are going to produce many more Port Arthur massacres
195. Perth is the most boring place that you could ever visit
196. The ten network in Australia has no remorse whatsoever moving its show back to Perth from Sydney after Charmaine Dragun fell from a cliff known as the GAP because she missed Perth
197. You only need to visit Australia is your aeroplane needs it fuel tank refilling
198. You produced somebody who paid $150 on something that he doesn’t control
199. Woodridge is a Major bogan hangout
200. Canberra is full of idiots who believe that it is the ruins of Atlantis
201. Some species of shark can grow, lose and regrow as many as 30,000 teeth in their lifetime - something that the Australians are not aware of due to still playing with death in the sea
202. 75% of the outback is considered to be outback anyways
203. Australia is the serious assault capital of the world
204. Elsewhere in the world your more likely to be killed by a rogue champagne cork than a poisonous spider bite - not in Australia!
205. Australians are unaware that hummingbirds can’t walk
206. Your best daughter Dannii Minogue appeared in a advert for penguin biscuits
207. Australians run away from all mosquitoes despite only the female species are the only ones that can bite you
208. An average lifespan of an eyelash is five months - In Australia its two!
209. During the middle ages, people used spider webs to try to cure warts. They still do this in Australia
210. Thanks to the Australians, global warming is raising the temperature of our testicles
211. Dannii Minogue has twice been bitten by poisonous spiders and was cured because she has mutant Australian genes
212. The most overdue book in the world was apparently borrowed from Sydney Sussex College, Cambridge for a shameful 288 years.
213. All Australians know that Donald Ducks middle name is Fauntleroy - how sad is that?
214. Australia have close social ties with the racist bunch of the Todas people of Southern India who refuse to cross ant bridges
215. A majority of Australians are Schizophrenics who never yawn
216. People I’ve come across from Australia are a bunch of quidnuncs the nosey Parkers!
217. Australians don’t have a good taste in food thanks to they consent dribbling of saliva
218. An average yawn lasts six seconds. In Australia it lasts the whole time your they
219. It takes 25 muscles to swallow most foods but not Australian food
220. Toads only eat moving prey like the clubbers in Sydney
221. There is not really such a thing as a big Australian Company and we want to keep them small
222. Importation laws in Australia restrict just about everything good into the country, especially the goods that are non terrorist related
223. Australia holds all the fat people - that’s why it needs to be such a big country
224. Typical Australians have no real meaning to their lives, nor any interest
225. Australia hardly ever take risks, so nothing groundbreaking or new develops as a country
226. Australia Day is the holiday for small minded individuals in that country who believe in the White Australia concept
227. The religious group AL-FIRQAT UN-NAAJIYAH would thrive in Australia
228. Labour voters are ruining Australia as if it wasn’t ruined all ready?
229. Australia is full of inter dimension Reptiles who rule the world underground
230. Australia turn an old school pal into a career criminal
231. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World that was filmed in Australia has convince an individual on the David Icke forum that there’s a underground portion of the plateau where an advanced civilization of reptilian slavemasters have humans as slaves
232. They is a spy ring of at least three Mossad agents working from Australia
233. Australian festivals are so bad that they come and invade ours!
234. Burumba Dam is a chemical waste dumping ground
235. An Australian poster on the internet (can’t name due to confidentiality) spelt area - airier!
236. Sending your worse enemy to Australia is worse than sending them to St Helens
237. Food is very expensive to buy in Australia. That’s why everyone lives on a bush diet
238. We send our least liked celebrities to suffer in Australia every year
239. Australia is full of naughty girls with bad habits for drugs
240. An old friend of mine (no longer like him due to him threatening to hit me after I revealed his little perverted secret) has social ties with fellow Australian groomers
241. Sydney’s paranoid government launched a go back campaign which is a bag containing items to survive disaster. Is this disaster going to happen when we visit them in the world cup?
242. The Daily Telegraph is the biggest source of fascist propaganda on the southern hemisphere and possibly even the world
243. Australia is the launching pad of the N.W.O
244. A lot of greys live in Australia
245. They is a lot of secret alien technologies been used at PINE GAP in Australia
246. Australia is now under Americas power (we no longer own Australia)
247. William Cooper has constructive evidence of Reptilian activity in Australia
248. Mutant evolved Stenonychosaurus roam the Australian desert freely
249. Since 15th January, 1996 the Australian army, airforce and navy is placed under single command.
250. The Coast Watch Service of Australia is corrupt and takes bribes from Illegal fishermen
251. Australians are culling rabbits
252. Australia has lockdowns in its schools to scare children
253. ANZAC Day is an annual mass mourning ritual honouring and glorifying the Australian and New Zealand lives lost in the Illuminati sacrificial mass murder rituals we call "war".
254. The top commercial channels in Australia which are Channel 7 Channel 9 and Channel 10 all display their logo as a number in the corner of the screen. This is a hidden numerological/mind control implications thing
255. Evil Spirits roam the Australian skies
256. Many Australians believe that A practical way to end the illusiory Earth dimension is for everyone in the world to stop having children with immediate effect
257. An Australian is the most likely place your going to find an alien message in their DNA
256. Cell Phone Towers (masts) are hidden all over in Australia
257. The Fake Moon Landing was filmed in Australia
258. They is not much to know about Australia
259. Despite the celebrity backing glamour team South Sydney is still performing rubbish
260. You all rate Melbourne Storm despite them been beaten by the far superior Leeds Rhinos side
261. If Leeds Rhinos played in the NRL, we would rip it!
262. Darren Lockyer will never be better than Lee Briars
263. Your Australian Schoolboy rugby league players are all drugged up
264. Ned Kelly is your national hero
265. The best ever rugby league player that Australia had ever seen preferred pig hunting in the outback to playing rugby league
266. Rugby Union is more liked in Australia than Rugby League
267. Australia is the most infertile and climatically aggressive place in the world and it still teems with life!
268. No one outside Australia keeps track of Australian politics
269. The boomerang is the most lethal weapon on this earth
270. Australia is home to the Japanese doomsday cult Aum Shinrikyo
271. The New York times only acknowledges Australia 20 times a year and that’s in a good year
272. Your all killing the earths lungs - the great barrier reef
273. You have a misleading road in the outback called Poochera
274. Time is taken away from us when we visit Australia
275. Rupert Murdoch knew that he had to leave Australia to become rich
276. The Blue Mountains are not very Blue at all
277. Sydney Harbour is the worse in the world
278. Adelaide is the most unrepressed city in the world
279. John Howard hated capital city so much he refused to live there
280. Broken Hill isn’t as broken as it sounds
281. Daintree River is where Australians interact with Crocodiles
282. Australia is the of the commonwealth
283. Sarah is the worse Australian that has been on British screens, you sent her over here to annoy us I know you did
284. Australia will never produce a sport as popular at football
285. You have the REAL King who lives in Australia who’s related to the Queen who wants out of the commonwealth. But still he does nothing about it!
286. Australia is full of deadly plant life that should have been culled years ago
287. The best Australian coach got sacked from his post in England for swearing!
288. My Project on an Australian ghost town bombed
289. I played Rolf Harris didgeridoo song non stop for an afternoon and the people who were in that room can’t get the song out of their heads now
290. People of Australia find it funny to steal gnomes from old peoples gardens and send them to exotic places around the world
291. The Aussie news presenters where dismissal at the Beijing Olympics
292. Orange County Chopper didn’t like the country very much
293. Adelaide is full of hippies
294. Sir Thomas Playford suggested that they was no need for universities - where would all the nutters go?
295. Thomas Austin should be treated like a national hero for importing rabbits
296. Its easy to get lost in Canberra as all the neighbourhoods are identical (boring people then)
297. Victoria Bitter is the worse bitter in the world
298. White Cliffs was once home to many brothels
299. Australia is full of forgotten people and we want it to stay that way
300. Cliffs Hotel has a strangling atmosphere
As You can see I am well and truely hurt by Australias Dominance..
