There is way too much negativity on this board at the moment. I know we're crap but this is too much even for me. There isn't even any gallows humour which one may appreciate in such times of strife. Hopefully, this will address that situation.

One of the highlights of the build up to last year's Challenge Cup final was the notorious 'Lee Briers Dummy Spit' thread.

Now, let's for a moment forget that Briers spat no such dummy but instead went on to the lift the Lance Todd trophy, and turn our attention towards this year's pantomine villain and most notorious member of the Wigan Warriors club - Sam 'Boo Hiss' Tomkins. The most famous milker this side of Bakewell, Tomkins' performances have been critically acclaimed by both the Albert Goldthorpe Medal awarding panel and BAFTA.

However Tomkins' amateur dramatics have been less well received by almost everyone else in the RL fraternity, including Ben Thaler, Carl Ablett and Gareth Raynor.

It is inevitable that he will tread the illustrious Wembley boards this coming Saturday.

I am therefore inviting predictions for the time of Tomkins' first theatrical performance.

I'm going for the 33rd minute.

Go on then I will have the 7th minute.

I'll go 5 mins in - specifically for trapping McGuire's arm in the tackle to try and cheat a penalty for holding down.

At the risk of being pedantic, Wigan is not really "this side" of Bakewell, if you're really anywhere near Kirkstall.

Before the game, when he pretends he knows the words to 'Abide With Me'.

I thought I'd go with a North/South divide. Bakewell came into my head first

The over dramatic acceptance speech to the BBC when he lifts the Lance Todd trophy

Cheating at cards on the team coach

He'll hold off until 78 minutes when he attempts to milk a penalty with the scores at 23-22 to Leeds. Bentham doesn't buy it and the Weeegan fans then claim their is a conspiracy against them as they bought, I mean won, the cup 'far too many times' back in the 80s/90s.

How long will it take for the cheat Mcguire to trip someone off the ball?

Truly in the spirit of this thread

The Rugby League Gods will put a stop to any of that nonsense! They'll cause a Serious Injury to Mc... Cr@p I was tuned into Phil Clarke for a second there sorry

How long before the BBC Commentary Team show their Real Colours?

Cherry and White

I'll go for the 11th, the 26th, the 31st, the 48th, the 67th and the 78th.

Oh, we aren't talking about what time of the game he'll rip your team apart?...