Does anyone have any idea about the projected attendance at the cup final?

Frank said he couldn't make it, he's waiting in for a delivery of colostomy bags. He's running short and if he doesn't get some new one's he says his shoes will be full of p[sizei[/sizess - and no-one wants that.

Well I'm going with 5 others so there'll be at least 6 people there. Seriously, I reckon about 66,000

Oh I don't know, it'd bring back memories of the old Wembley, the old Wembley when you could stand up behind the posts and they'd cram tens of thousands in there so that no-one could leave for the bogs, I'm sure you get the gist of what used to happen then...

Oh and by the way, I'm not going, so don't count me, or the nine others who think I've got the whole trip organised and who's phone calls I am now not taking, ok, don't count any of us, right ?

So that's why you changed your name!