When you don't respond to an initial request the impatient senders tend to follow up their first letter with a red letter reminder.

Dear Mr McDermott

F**K OFF Now

Yours sincerely

Leeds Rhinos

Dear Brian (2) ?

I thought you'd have been upto dear Brian (10) by now.

can't they just open the doors(in flight) and throw him from the plane that will settle it

Dear Mr McDermott,

I know you are a very busy man coaching our team but Dad thinks that you spend your time trying to organise a up in a brewery. He doubts that you'll ever finish.
What is a chocolate fire guard and have you got one. Dad says you are as useless as one.
Have you got a whole in your bottom? Dad says that you'll not make a coach as long as you got one and he'll show his in Boots window if we win anything this year.
Please reply to this as Dad says that the only thing that you and Mr Lowes will be doing is scratching your bum and armpits and eating bananas until you are sacked.

Yours

Little Rhino Bucs

Dear Mr Bradford McDermott.

Please phone either Mr Noble Mr Murray Mr Millward Mr elliot or My anderson and offer them a Job

Then Please push Mr Lowes onto you sword then take him off and fall on it yourself.