FORUMS > Halifax Panthers > Trying to lighten the mood II -The return of the Joke thread |
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fonds blancs/Shrek.gif "While each of us may not be poor, poverty affects all of us." Robert Kennedy:fonds blancs/Shrek.gif |
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| A bloke walks into a lift and
stands next to a very pretty woman.
He asks, "Excuse me, can I smell your fanny?"
"No!" she replies, "Don't be disgusting."
"Oh well," the man shrugs his shoulders,
"It must be your feet then."
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Rank | Posts | Team |
Club Owner | 1689 | No Team Selected |
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Jul 2003 | 21 years | |
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Nov 2007 | Jan 1970 | LINK |
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fonds blancs/Shrek.gif "While each of us may not be poor, poverty affects all of us." Robert Kennedy:fonds blancs/Shrek.gif |
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| Q: Why is the Government like an Ikea wardrobe?
A: One loose screw and the whole cabinet falls apart.
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Rank | Posts | Team |
International Board Member | 9336 | No Team Selected |
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3664.gif You've got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream, how ya gonna have a dream come true?
Are you claiming all you are entitled to? www.debtadvicenetwork.org then go to "Self Help" then "Benefits & Entitlements".:3664.gif |
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| Quote: Good enuf to play for Fax "Q
Have you been saving that joke?
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Rank | Posts | Team |
Club Owner | 1689 | No Team Selected |
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Jul 2003 | 21 years | |
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Nov 2007 | Jan 1970 | LINK |
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fonds blancs/Shrek.gif "While each of us may not be poor, poverty affects all of us." Robert Kennedy:fonds blancs/Shrek.gif |
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| Quote: Yob "Have you been saving that joke?
Old one recycled for today
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Rank | Posts | Team |
Club Owner | 1689 | No Team Selected |
Joined | Service | Reputation |
Jul 2003 | 21 years | |
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Nov 2007 | Jan 1970 | LINK |
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fonds blancs/Shrek.gif "While each of us may not be poor, poverty affects all of us." Robert Kennedy:fonds blancs/Shrek.gif |
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| In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic
name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of
Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call
Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced
that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also
considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of
course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in
liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage
suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to
literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this
a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails",
"highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink." Pepsi will
market the new concoction by the name of: "MOUNT & DO"
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants
and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040,
there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge
erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
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Rank | Posts | Team |
Club Owner | 1689 | No Team Selected |
Joined | Service | Reputation |
Jul 2003 | 21 years | |
Online | Last Post | Last Page |
Nov 2007 | Jan 1970 | LINK |
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fonds blancs/Shrek.gif "While each of us may not be poor, poverty affects all of us." Robert Kennedy:fonds blancs/Shrek.gif |
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| A South African gold miner lost his leg in an accident.
Choking back the tears later he cried,
"It's over! who's gonna want a one legged gold digger?"
Then his phone rang. "It's Paul McCartney."
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Rank | Posts | Team |
International Chairman | 14464 | No Team Selected |
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Mar 2002 | 23 years | |
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Apr 2024 | Mar 2015 | LINK |
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1621_1285693207.jpg 'Except the Lord keep the City':d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_1621.jpg |
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| What do the Premiership and a Cordless Drill have in common?
They both work better without Leeds
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Rank | Posts | Team |
International Chairman | 5606 | |
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Feb 2002 | 23 years | |
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Loving the hypocrisy of some.: |
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| After his recent seperation Paul Mcartney said he would never go down on one knee again, or Heather as she is known.
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Rank | Posts | Team |
International Board Member | 9336 | No Team Selected |
Joined | Service | Reputation |
Jan 2003 | 22 years | |
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Oct 2011 | Oct 2011 | LINK |
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3664.gif You've got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream, how ya gonna have a dream come true?
Are you claiming all you are entitled to? www.debtadvicenetwork.org then go to "Self Help" then "Benefits & Entitlements".:3664.gif |
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| Quote: Bubba "After his recent seperation Paul Mcartney said he would never go down on one knee again, or Heather as she is known.'"
Cruel!
She could sue but she hasn't got a leg to stand on!
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Rank | Posts | Team |
International Chairman | 5606 | |
Joined | Service | Reputation |
Feb 2002 | 23 years | |
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Oct 2024 | Sep 2024 | LINK |
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Loving the hypocrisy of some.: |
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| Bet she is hopping mad about that one.
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Rank | Posts | Team |
International Board Member | 9336 | No Team Selected |
Joined | Service | Reputation |
Jan 2003 | 22 years | |
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Oct 2011 | Oct 2011 | LINK |
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3664.gif You've got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream, how ya gonna have a dream come true?
Are you claiming all you are entitled to? www.debtadvicenetwork.org then go to "Self Help" then "Benefits & Entitlements".:3664.gif |
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| Two guys are pushing their shopping trolley's around a store when they collide.
The first guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going".
The second guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate".
The first guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like"?
The second guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, big breasts and is wearing short shorts and a tank top. What does your wife look like"?
The first guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."
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Rank | Posts | Team |
Club Owner | 1689 | No Team Selected |
Joined | Service | Reputation |
Jul 2003 | 21 years | |
Online | Last Post | Last Page |
Nov 2007 | Jan 1970 | LINK |
Milestone Posts |
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Milestone Years |
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Location |
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Signature |
fonds blancs/Shrek.gif "While each of us may not be poor, poverty affects all of us." Robert Kennedy:fonds blancs/Shrek.gif |
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| A door to door salesman knocks on a door.
A boy about eight years old answers, dressed
in stockings and suspenders, with a fat cigar
in one hand and a large glass of red wine in the other.
"Is your mum in, son?" says the salesman,
The boy replies, "Does it f*cking look like it?"
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Rank | Posts | Team |
International Board Member | 9336 | No Team Selected |
Joined | Service | Reputation |
Jan 2003 | 22 years | |
Online | Last Post | Last Page |
Oct 2011 | Oct 2011 | LINK |
Milestone Posts |
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3664.gif You've got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream, how ya gonna have a dream come true?
Are you claiming all you are entitled to? www.debtadvicenetwork.org then go to "Self Help" then "Benefits & Entitlements".:3664.gif |
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| A German family head out one Saturday to do some shopping.
While in the sports shop the son picks up an England football shirt and says to his sister, "I've decided to be an England supporter and I would like this for my birthday."
His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the
head and says, "Go talk to your mother."
So off goes the little lad with the white and red football shirt in hand and finds his mother. "Mum?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be an England supporter and I would like this shirt for my birthday".
The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head twice and says, "Go talk to your father."
Off he goes with the football shirt in hand and finds his
father . "Dad?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be an England supporter and I would like this shirt for my birthday."
The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head 4 times and says "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"
About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says; "Son, I hope you've learned something today?"
The son says, "Yes dad I have." "Good son, what is it?" The son replies,
"I've only been an England supporter for an hour and already I hate you
German B******s!"
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Rank | Posts | Team |
Club Owner | 1689 | No Team Selected |
Joined | Service | Reputation |
Jul 2003 | 21 years | |
Online | Last Post | Last Page |
Nov 2007 | Jan 1970 | LINK |
Milestone Posts |
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Milestone Years |
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Location |
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Signature |
fonds blancs/Shrek.gif "While each of us may not be poor, poverty affects all of us." Robert Kennedy:fonds blancs/Shrek.gif |
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| Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)...A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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Rank | Posts | Team |
Player Coach | 748 | No Team Selected |
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May 2005 | 19 years | |
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15170.jpg [b:31em7sl9]Spirit of 1895[/b:31em7sl9]
Integrity
Honesty
Openness
Join the fight to win back our game:15170.jpg |
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| Smiles are in short supply, especially if you are a dentist....
A guy and a girl meet at a bar.
They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again.
The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says "Yes....how did you figure that out?"
"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love.
After they have done, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist."
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, How did
you figure that out?"
"Didn't feel a thing!"
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