Sorry, but I've had a night out and I'm feeling rather pi$$ed, but I can't find anything funny about this.

Please explain.

VIZ BOCJ
Codenamed!
Im off

A NEW EYE TEST. (Check it out) I did and was surprised. I thought something was wrong with my eyes for the last year or so. I'm glad I took the test.



Do yourself a favour and take this simple test. It's an early test for cataracts. It's simple to do and it's fun. Remember, cataracts know no age boundary; young and old can have this "preventable" eye disease. When you're finished, send this on to those you care about!

rlhttp://home.mn.rr.com/t1camp1/Focus.swfrl

you cheeky barsteward

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black he was followed by a second long black he about 50 feet behind the first.

Behind the second he was a solitary man walking a pit-bull on a leash.

Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog.

"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single file. Whose funeral is it?

The man replied, "Well, the first he is for my wife"

"What happened to her?"

The man replied "My dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second he?"

The man answered "My Mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Join the queue"

What did Jack the rippers's mother say to him?- how come you never go out with the same girl twice


A golfer came home in a bad mood. i only hit two good balls today, he moaned, and thats when i stood on a rake


An old man was driving his car when his phone rang. It was his wife. herman, she cried, i just herd on the news that theres a car going the wrong way on the M1. Please be careful.
Hell, exclaimed herman. Its not just one car its hundreds of them.

This was told by Ken Dodd this morning on the radio.


I walked into a church and there was a car in the aisle. I said to the vicar, "What's this car doing in church?"

The vicar answered, "It's here for a service!"

video.greatestjournal.com/files/ ... hlands.wmv Typical Jok! 8O

video.greatestjournal.com/files/ ... hlands.wmv Typical Jok! 8O

A man goes to a zoo, but when he arrives there, there's only a dog

It was a zu

this man went to a zoo, however it was full of vans
It was a Isuzu #-o

Child ......."Mummy Mummy! Do they have Christmas decorations in Vietnam?"

Mother......."Not usually, but this year they will be hanging Glitter"

Now that would be a bitch!

A blonde wanted some extra cash at weekend, so she decided to ask some one in a very big house of there were any jobs that she could do for them.
The man said,
"well i suppose that you could paint the porch.................. but it runs all the way around the house so it is a big job"
the blonde said,
"well, ok ill do it"
ten minutes later there was another knock at the door, it was the same blonde, she said,
"i've finished"
the man looked astounded, he said,
"allready? last year it took 5 men 2 days to finish"
the blonde looked pleased with herself and said,
"yes, i've finished............... but it wasn't a porsche it was a ferrari"

That one's been on before.

Cheers for that, I flung back in my seat when the soggy of dispise confronted me. but hey