PRINCE CHARLES

Prince Charles was driving around his mother's estate when he accidentally ran over her favorite dog, a Corgi, crushing it to a pulp.

He got out of his Range Rover and sat down on the grass totally
distraught. The whole world was against him and now his mother would go ballistic.

Suddenly he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground. He dug it up, polished it and immediately a genie appeared.

"You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment" said the genie.

"As a reward I shall grant you one wish."

"Well," said the Prince, "I have all the material things I need, but
let me show you this dog."

They walk over to the splattered remains of the dog.

"Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?" the Prince asked.

The genie carefully looked at the remains and shook his head.

"This body is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life,
Is there something else you would like?"

The Prince thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and
pulled out two photos.

"I was married to this beautiful woman called Diana," said Prince
Charles, showing the genie the first photo.

"But now I love this woman called Camilla," and he showed the genie
the second photo. "

You see Camilla isn't beautiful at all, so do you think you can
make Camilla as beautiful as Diana?"

The genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes
said,












"Let's have a look at that dog again."

BAD NEWS - Patrick Swayze has died!

MORE BAD NEWS - The Swayze family had booked Keith Floyd to do the buffet at the wake!

They'd have had the thyme of their life.

Yorkshire Women





3 men married wives from different countries. The first man married a woman from China. He told her that she was to do their dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.



The second man married a woman from Italy. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better.

By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.



The third man married a Yorkshire Lass.

He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed,

lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.

He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he

didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.

NEW WORLD SURVEY


Last month a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:-

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure because of the following:

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.



In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

In the US they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

And finally, in the UK they just hung up because they couldn't understand the Indian accent.

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