FORUMS > Halifax Panthers > Trying to lighten the mood II -The return of the Joke thread |
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3664.gif You've got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream, how ya gonna have a dream come true?
Are you claiming all you are entitled to? www.debtadvicenetwork.org then go to "Self Help" then "Benefits & Entitlements".:3664.gif |
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| A little kid sits on Santa's lap, and Santa says, "What would you like for Christmas?"
The kid says, "A $*#%@#$ Climbing Frame" Santa says, "You'll have to ask nicer than that if you want Santa to bring you presents. Let's try again.
What else would you like?"
The kid says, "A $*#%@#$ sand pit for the side yard." Santa says, "That's no way to talk to Santa. One more time. What else would you like for Christmas?"
The boy thinks for a minute, and then he says, "I want a $*#%@#$ trampoline in the front yard." Santa lifts the boy off his lap and goes to talk to the kid's parents. He tells them what the kid said, and then says, "I know how to stop it. Don't get him anything for Christmas except dog doo. Put a pile of dog doo in the backyard where he wants the climbing frame, put another pile in the side yard where he wants the sand pit, and another pile in the front yard where he wants the trampoline. That should make him change his tune."
Christmas morning the kid goes downstairs to open his presents, and there aren't any. He runs out the back door, looks around, and comes back in. He runs out the side door, looks around, and comes back in. He runs out the front door, looks around, and comes back in, shaking his head.
His father says, "What's wrong, son?" The kid says, "Santa brought me a $*#%@#$ dog, but I can't find him".
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3664.gif You've got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream, how ya gonna have a dream come true?
Are you claiming all you are entitled to? www.debtadvicenetwork.org then go to "Self Help" then "Benefits & Entitlements".:3664.gif |
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| BAD NEWS - Patrick Swayze has died!
MORE BAD NEWS - The Swayze family had booked Keith Floyd to do the buffet at the wake!
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icons97df_files/4489-27sowhat-msnicons.jpg :icons97df_files/4489-27sowhat-msnicons.jpg |
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| Quote: Yob "BAD NEWS - Patrick Swayze has died!
MORE BAD NEWS - The Swayze family had booked Keith Floys to do the buffet at the wake!'"
They'd have had the thyme of their life.
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International Board Member | 9336 | No Team Selected |
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Jan 2003 | 22 years | |
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3664.gif You've got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream, how ya gonna have a dream come true?
Are you claiming all you are entitled to? www.debtadvicenetwork.org then go to "Self Help" then "Benefits & Entitlements".:3664.gif |
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| Yorkshire Women
3 men married wives from different countries. The first man married a woman from China. He told her that she was to do their dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a woman from Italy. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better.
By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a Yorkshire Lass.
He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed,
lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.
He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he
didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.
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Rank | Posts | Team |
International Board Member | 9336 | No Team Selected |
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Jan 2003 | 22 years | |
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Oct 2011 | Oct 2011 | LINK |
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3664.gif You've got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream, how ya gonna have a dream come true?
Are you claiming all you are entitled to? www.debtadvicenetwork.org then go to "Self Help" then "Benefits & Entitlements".:3664.gif |
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| NEW WORLD SURVEY
Last month a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:-
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure because of the following:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the US they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And finally, in the UK they just hung up because they couldn't understand the Indian accent.
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International Board Member | 951 | No Team Selected |
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fonds blancs/Buzz Lightyear.gif :fonds blancs/Buzz Lightyear.gif |
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| Fantastic! I've just discovered twitter. its my girlfriends sensitive area between the & the Shitter.
replace lover with tw@at
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