FORUMS > Halifax Panthers > Trying to lighten the mood II -The return of the Joke thread |
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67.5% of all statistics are made up: |
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| An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Monte Cassino went
to the local church for confession.
When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, "Father... during World War II, a beautiful
woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic."
The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son! And
you have no need to confess that."
"It's worse than that, Father. She started to repay me with sexual
favors."
The priest said, "By doing that, you were both in great danger.
However, two people under those circumstances can be very tempted to act that way.
But if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."
"Thank you Father. That's a great load off my mind. But I do have one
more question."
"And what is that?" said the priest.
"Should I tell her the war is over?"
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3664.gif You've got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream, how ya gonna have a dream come true?
Are you claiming all you are entitled to? www.debtadvicenetwork.org then go to "Self Help" then "Benefits & Entitlements".:3664.gif |
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| BAD NEWS - Patrick Swayze has died!
MORE BAD NEWS - The Swayze family had booked Keith Floyd to do the buffet at the wake!
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icons97df_files/4489-27sowhat-msnicons.jpg :icons97df_files/4489-27sowhat-msnicons.jpg |
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| Quote: Yob "BAD NEWS - Patrick Swayze has died!
MORE BAD NEWS - The Swayze family had booked Keith Floys to do the buffet at the wake!'"
They'd have had the thyme of their life.
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International Board Member | 9336 | No Team Selected |
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3664.gif You've got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream, how ya gonna have a dream come true?
Are you claiming all you are entitled to? www.debtadvicenetwork.org then go to "Self Help" then "Benefits & Entitlements".:3664.gif |
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| Yorkshire Women
3 men married wives from different countries. The first man married a woman from China. He told her that she was to do their dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a woman from Italy. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better.
By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a Yorkshire Lass.
He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed,
lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.
He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he
didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.
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Rank | Posts | Team |
International Board Member | 9336 | No Team Selected |
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Jan 2003 | 22 years | |
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3664.gif You've got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream, how ya gonna have a dream come true?
Are you claiming all you are entitled to? www.debtadvicenetwork.org then go to "Self Help" then "Benefits & Entitlements".:3664.gif |
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| NEW WORLD SURVEY
Last month a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:-
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure because of the following:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the US they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And finally, in the UK they just hung up because they couldn't understand the Indian accent.
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fonds blancs/Buzz Lightyear.gif :fonds blancs/Buzz Lightyear.gif |
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| Fantastic! I've just discovered twitter. its my girlfriends sensitive area between the & the Shitter.
replace lover with tw@at
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