Try not to fart in your local.

rlhttps://tulsatrot.travellerspoint.com/58/rl

Wise words I have educated my Brother in Law with;

"Sometimes say nothing"

1) Never eat anything that you can't pronounce.

2) When out on an all-day sesh, never drink anything with an ABV above 5 %, as this will mean you going hungry (see #1)

Never eat in a place that has pictures of the food outside or on the walls or windows ( a stylish, well lit photograph in a well put together leather bound menu is acceptable).

Absolutely.
In fact, I had intended to post something similar ... and somehow I thought I had.

Buy cheap, buy twice.

If it's free, it's probably not worth having.

If you haven't entered, it is unlikely you've won.

Life is not a rehearsal.

Never solve someones computer/phone/TV problem, you'll be their support desk for life.

Spot on.

In similar vein, choose restaurants with small menus – no establishment can cook 100 dishes properly. Learnt from reading Anthony Bourdain – and has never failed me.

Not strictly true, if you have been fitted with a suprapubic catheter you don't need your cock to with.

I did actually think that as an afterthought.

seriously? how the hell can you claim to follow that one?

Steady, I did ask for no politics, no religion.
Let's keep it light.
Ta.

Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.

One should be willing to try most things in life except incest and folk dancing.

not 'good things come to those who wait'
but more like 'good things come to those who persist and don't give in'