My employment advisor today asked me if I’ve been looking for jobs. I responded it’s pointless because he’s dead.

When Chris Eubank says "bithneth" that's when you know he really means business.

The Pakistan Cricket team have issued a statement expressing their shock at the involvement of three Pakistani players in match fixing and promised to clean up their act before the 2-1 series defeat to the West Indies next year.

What's six inches long and not being sucked anymore?






Jimmy Savile's cigar

Suicide bombers if you really want to see 70 virgins, then simply pop down to GAME at midnight.

Haha that's a good one.

It's not mine but;

So when Gary says Frankie Cocozza has been "really concentrating on his lines this week", it's not to do with his songs?

Police suspect foul play in the death of Joe Frazier. They are currently grilling George Foreman.


An asteroid has narrowly missed the Earth by 201,000 miles.
Scientists have named it "Emile Heskey".

Like the second.

As a result of the recent death of Joe Frazier, Audley Harrison has been elevated one position in the world boxing rankings.[size=50


(recycled)[/size

What is six inches long and makes a man groan as soon as a woman touches it?

A gear stick.

Last week my wife caught me in bed with Fatima Whitbread.
'It's not what it looks like', I pleaded.
'Well, what is it then?' she asked with a puzzled look on her face.
'A woman', I replied.