Nobody said it was. Oh wait....you're trying to be funny.

Sorry.

He succeeded though.

Never, ever engage in unprotected anal sex with anyone who has recently eaten a curry. You get one of those chilli seeds wedged behind your foreskin and you'll know what burning feels like

At least we have solved Cragganmore Kid's problem.

Never had you down as a bender (women only eat Kormas).

Dial 999, and let them sort it out.

Two things that really upset me in that post.
1. People who are too lazy to go and get their own pizza or cook for themselves.
2. Kids who pester/cry to their parents when the tt hits the fan (Literally in this case)

Oh I hear you.

My two are employed and earning their own salaries and paying board to live with us - they order takeaways at least three or four times a week, I've given up explaining to them that our local Chinese takeaway owner drives an E series Merc on their food orders.

I liken myself now to Don Corleone when at a meeting with Sollozzo he speaks of Sonny, "I have a sentimental weakness for my children and I spoil them, as you can see" I say that out loud every time I ask who is going to do the washing up and then find myself doing it .

The answer is simple.If the chilli is hot whilst eating it,take a slice of banana,it takes the heat away.Ergo,after eating a chilli,shove a banana up your ass.

That just comes over all wrong Damo.

Ah one ,two ,three,..........
"Chill-ee ,is a burning thing,and it makes a fiery ring................................................

Milk Enema.