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"You are working for Satan." [i:2886spie]Kirkstaller[/i:2886spie] "Dare to know!" [i:2886spie]Immanuel Kant[/i:2886spie] "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive" [i:2886spie]Elbert Hubbard[/i:2886spie] "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." [i:2886spie]Oscar Wilde[/i:2886spie] [url=http://thevoluptuousmanifesto.blogspot.co.uk:2886spie][color=#4000FF:2886spie]The Voluptuous Manifesto[/color:2886spie][/url:2886spie] – thoughts on all sorts of stuff.:d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_1977.jpg



Quote: WIZEB "My local jobcentre have, in their infinite wisdom, sent me back to college Tues and Wed, 10am until 4pm, for the next month. (I'm 4icon_cool.gif
Benefit will be sanctioned (withdrawn) if I fail to attend.
On Wednesday I had to build a free standing tower using only four sheets of A4 paper, sellotape, and a stapler.
Go on – I'll bite: what's the course and what's the supposed aim?

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Quote: JerryChicken "icon_lol.gif
I swear they were trying to flog us them at a discounted £9 a throw.

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Quote: Ovavoo "Did the tutor have special pens and was her name Barbara?'"


Steve, ex-army, by the book to the point of pedantry.
I left him under no illuions after the first half hour of the first class!

He was trying to rally the troops (a mixture of young and old, several with obvious substance abuse problems) that the course was nothing to do with the DSS and we were all going to have a bit of fun and a jolly.
I cut his legs off early doors by pointedly informing him that is was opaquely apparent that neither myself or fellow students ( icon_biggrin.gif ) wanted to be there and the only reason for our attendance was that our JSA would be automatically sanctioned (basically stopped and left with fook all to live on) if we refused to turn up.

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Quote: Mintball "Go on – I'll bite

You aren't biting Minty, I'm telling you how it is.
Funny thing was I had to go and sign on yesterday so saw my jobcentre advisor.

Conversation -:

Jobcentre advisor - ''How are you finding the course Graeme?''

Me - Eyes open as wide as I can, just about to tell her.

Jobcentre advisor - Head shaking, ''We know we've already been told.........Can you sign here and I'll see you next week Graeme.''

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"You are working for Satan." [i:2886spie]Kirkstaller[/i:2886spie] "Dare to know!" [i:2886spie]Immanuel Kant[/i:2886spie] "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive" [i:2886spie]Elbert Hubbard[/i:2886spie] "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." [i:2886spie]Oscar Wilde[/i:2886spie] [url=http://thevoluptuousmanifesto.blogspot.co.uk:2886spie][color=#4000FF:2886spie]The Voluptuous Manifesto[/color:2886spie][/url:2886spie] – thoughts on all sorts of stuff.:d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_1977.jpg



Quote: WIZEB "You aren't biting Minty, I'm telling you how it is...'"


I wasn't suggesting that you were inventing it – just asking what they call such a course and what on Earth they imagine making a tower out of paper is supposed to achieve, because my own imagination hasn't come up with any ideas. icon_smile.gif

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Quote: Mintball "I wasn't suggesting that you were inventing it – just asking what they call such a course and what on Earth they imagine making a tower out of paper is supposed to achieve, because my own imagination hasn't come up with any ideas.
It achieves a full time job for the course tutor and as its probably a contracted-out service it provides some nice government funding to a privately owned organisation who can then proudly boast that they are re-training lots of idle layabouts who were previously scrounging off the taxpayer, not that they themselves are scrounging off the taxpayer, oh no.

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Quote: Mintball "I wasn't suggesting that you were inventing it – just asking what they call such a course and what on Earth they imagine making a tower out of paper is supposed to achieve, because my own imagination hasn't come up with any ideas.
Don't think it has a particular name, just one of the compulsory Work Programme courses.
I honestly think it's basically designed just to try and sicken people off so that they won't attend so they can sanction and possibly knock them off the monthly unemployment figures.
The tower out of paper exercise was some bollox about 'team-work' because there was actually three of us in our group with four sheets of A4 paper, sellotape and a stapler. icon_smile.gif

Time-management and motivation I believe is on next weeks agenda. eusa_whistle.gif

As one of the older gentlemen (late 50's) succinctly expressed to the tutor, verbatim........

''What the fook has this got to do with me finding a job? I could be out looking for some fooking work right now.''

Tutor replies - ''I know'' .

eusa_shifty.gif

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Quote: JerryChicken "It achieves a full time job for the course tutor and as its probably a contracted-out service it provides some nice government funding to a privately owned organisation who can then proudly boast that they are re-training lots of idle layabouts who were previously scrounging off the taxpayer, not that they themselves are scrounging off the taxpayer, oh no.'"


I actually asked him where the money was coming from for this bollox.
''All through Hull College'' was his reply.
So yes, all government funded.

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It's been fun.:d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_44480.jpg



Even in work you get bs courses, I did an NVQ in leadership and management, all I did was gather evidence of all the work I do at work, had someone watch me for an hour and the same person interviewed my boss and an underling for a perspective of people above and below me. I learned the sum total of fk all and I got a qualification for it.

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Quote: WIZEB "Don't think it has a particular name, just one of the compulsory Work Programme courses.
I honestly think it's basically designed just to try and sicken people off so that they won't attend so they can sanction and possibly knock them off the monthly unemployment figures.
The tower out of paper exercise was some bollox about 'team-work' because there was actually three of us in our group with four sheets of A4 paper, sellotape and a stapler.
As the money advice unit told Mrs D the other day - the benefits sysyem is in disarray because the private companies involved are useless. I assume your tutor works for one?

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I got a Microsoft qualification (certificate signed by Bill gates and everything) in SQL Server 2005 integration and other bollax simply by attending a course for a week, letting them feed me for five days, not understanding anything that was going on around me, then finding all the answers to the exam at the end were on a CD tucked in the back of the course manual - copied off that during the online exam and got full marks & was the only one in the room to do so - a room full of local authority database programmers and geeks.

I didn't join in the debate at the end where one of the questions was revealed to have the wrong answer though, just slipped out the back door with my certificate and my 100% mark with the wrong answer.

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Jamie Jones-Buchanan "I'd never forgive myself if a child of mine was born in Lancashire" And neither would any Lancastrian.:d7dc4b20b2c2dd7b76ac6eac29d5604e_1673.jpg



Quote: WIZEB "Steve, ex-army, by the book to the point of pedantry.
I left him under no illuions after the first half hour of the first class!

He was trying to rally the troops (a mixture of young and old, several with obvious substance abuse problems) that the course was nothing to do with the DSS and we were all going to have a bit of fun and a jolly.
I cut his legs off early doors by pointedly informing him that is was opaquely apparent that neither myself or fellow students (
Definitely sounds like Barbara to me. Did any of the substance abuse people want to be firemen?

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Quote: Ovavoo "Definitely sounds like Barbara to me. Did any of the substance abuse people want to be firemen?'"


You'll have to feed me a bit more? icon_biggrin.gif

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Quote: Dally "As the money advice unit told Mrs D the other day - the benefits sysyem is in disarray because the private companies involved are useless. I assume your tutor works for one?'"

and the money advice unit is................a private company more D-b's

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Quote: Standee "and the money advice unit is................a private company more D-b's'"


The money advice unit is part of the County Council, not private.

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