Indeed, part of the character. The dust amongst the old beer bottles lining the top shelf is an absolute art-form.
Some nice hand pulled Copper Dragon went down well though.
Just as well because the maths test I had to sit on the afternoon was equally as challenging.

Q. If you had ten apples and gave away three how many would you have left?

I am buying a litre bottle of Coke, binning, half of it and filling it up with 35cl of Smirnoff to get through next weeks installment.

Again, I you not!

Steve, ex-army, by the book to the point of pedantry.
I left him under no illuions after the first half hour of the first class!

He was trying to rally the troops (a mixture of young and old, several with obvious substance abuse problems) that the course was nothing to do with the DSS and we were all going to have a bit of fun and a jolly.
I cut his legs off early doors by pointedly informing him that is was opaquely apparent that neither myself or fellow students ( ) wanted to be there and the only reason for our attendance was that our JSA would be automatically sanctioned (basically stopped and left with fook all to live on) if we refused to turn up.

I wasn't suggesting that you were inventing it – just asking what they call such a course and what on Earth they imagine making a tower out of paper is supposed to achieve, because my own imagination hasn't come up with any ideas.

I actually asked him where the money was coming from for this bollox.
''All through Hull College'' was his reply.
So yes, all government funded.

Even in work you get bs courses, I did an NVQ in leadership and management, all I did was gather evidence of all the work I do at work, had someone watch me for an hour and the same person interviewed my boss and an underling for a perspective of people above and below me. I learned the sum total of fk all and I got a qualification for it.

I got a Microsoft qualification (certificate signed by Bill gates and everything) in SQL Server 2005 integration and other bollax simply by attending a course for a week, letting them feed me for five days, not understanding anything that was going on around me, then finding all the answers to the exam at the end were on a CD tucked in the back of the course manual - copied off that during the online exam and got full marks & was the only one in the room to do so - a room full of local authority database programmers and geeks.

I didn't join in the debate at the end where one of the questions was revealed to have the wrong answer though, just slipped out the back door with my certificate and my 100% mark with the wrong answer.