Never do owt for nowt unless its for yourself.

Those that can do, those that can't teach.

God gave blokes a brain and a c*ck, but not enough blood to work them both at the same time !

Probably one of the most rediculous "words of wisdom" ever.

If nobody taught, nobody would learn.

As a father of a teacher, I totally agree, it's a stupid phrase.

It was he, but it is still true

Maybe I heard it from him but via you.
He'd still be at the bar.

Looking for his purse?

My old boss from Texas always says; 'Time flies when you're drunk as hell..'

Not sure, but he may have stolen that from the TV series, Dallas.

Rule of the 3 Fs:

If it flies, floats or does something else beginning with F, rent it. Don't buy it.

When standing at a bar in a crowd of other people all waiting to be served, you have but two chances to catch the bar tenders eye, after that he thinks you're just standing there and you become invisible to him.

Life experience #42

Never take sleeping pills and laxatives before you go to bed

When gambling: always walk away after a win.

When something/one es you off: if it won't matter in a month's time, don't stress it.

When drinking in rounds: never get the first round.

Never buy fish and chips from a shop that sells anything other than fish and chips

Never spend more than you earn.

“Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.”
― Sun Tzu

My personal experience is to avoid office workers who have Sun Tzu quotes on their desk etc.

Usually it means they are a t055'r

(although i do quite like the above one)

You should have sent this bit of wisdom to Gordon Brown