i am quite fond of my spicy Indian and Mexican food.

I was out last night for a Mexican and had my usual portion of jalapenos.

Does anyon have any suggestions for the best way of avoiding chilli bum ( apart from not eating them) or how best to ameliorate the problem when i have to go to the toilet.

Sh1t in an ice bath.

Try taking Alka-Seltzer, it sorts my stomach out when I've drank too much. Just a tablet that dissolves in water.

I don't tend to get the chilli bum problem so I'm not sure if it will work or not but it's worth a try, you can get them from boots and they're not too expensive.

Bog roll in the fridge.

Colonic

Greek yoghurt either orally or anally, best thing for relieving any burn of any type

Take a ton of laxatives so if it's going to burn it'll only be for a short while.

Time going for a shoite with setting a mouse trap off on your hand, you'll be more worried about the hand.

Scented candles.

Thread of the year!

Try and make it one of those ones that splashes back, and aim the splash back to the affected area!

Before you go, carefully extract the cardboard cylinder from the bog roll. Then carefully insert the cylinder up your backside, ensuring you do not squash it in the process. Thereafter, evacuate your bowels and hey presto! it won't touch the sides on the way out. Problem solved.

Lovely stuff RLFANS. Lovely stuff.

It's like the Sin Bin 2003.

Does anyone else suffer from chilli willy as well? I think my internal wiring is screwed...