Your eyesight gets better.

You know you're getting old when you get socks and handkerchiefs for Christmas along with one of those gadgets for trimming nasal hair.

Worst of all, that's what you asked for!

When you are President but use Twitter

When you drop your mobile phone and hear a crack, and you hope its your hip

You no longer care about farting or belching in public!

Where's McLaren_Field when you need a tale or two?

My first sign of getting old was when players became too old to perv over because they were old enough to be my sons. That was a very very sad day.

Do you not aspire to milf status ?

I have noticed lately that scrolling down to enter my age on a website has become quite a lengthy exercise...

Had a call with my team at work today, with people dialling in from different offices. The phone in one office kept cutting in and out and I referenced Norman Collier. The boss pointed out that of about a dozen people on the line, only she and I are old enough to know what i was on about.