Many, many, many years ago when I was in one of my first jobs in a shop a young lad was taken on to help out in the stock room. One day one of the older hands said to him, "here is a fiver, get me a meat n tater pie and get yerself summat". He comes back a bit later with no pie and gave the fella a penny change. He asked him what was going on and the lad said "well they had no pies ready and you said get myself summat so I bought a t shirt for £4.99"

I wasn't smiling either when we pitched up at the Westgate curry house to find that they'd vacated the building.

Well then you should have taken my advice and, err. Actually you did.

Wizeb reminds me of a story from Uni invoving a complete anaimal of a lad from Hull called Mark who lived in the same flat in halls as one of my mates. They had an ongoing friendly bit of one-upmanship with some lads in another flat whereby each flat would sneak in to the others knowing they were in the hall bar and nick their booze or sabotage something ( e.g. bedding soaked in water, placed in a bin bag and then in a chest freezer). During one of these raids Mark curled one off into a casserole dish and put it in the oven at 180C. The now carbonised turd was only found the following evening when someone went to put a pie in the oven!